Don't you just love hearing a really a stupid question? A question that makes you just want to shake your head, or slap someone up on the backside of their head for asking? Here's a few real life stories that will empower those of us with better sense in our heads to just walk up and slap someone in the back of the head for asking you that stupid question in the first place?
1. I know of a personal story where a guy who stood about 6'3 stands on the second floor of a two story apartment and leans over the railing to act goofy towards a girl he likes who is walking up from the first floor towards him on the second floor. The fool forgets that he suffers from extreme vertigo. Upon his leaning over the railing to goof off at the girl, he immediately loses his balance and over the railing he goes...on top of the girl! Yep, he made an impression on that girl alright. Every time she sees that Frankenstein scar on the side of her forehead, she will definitely think of him. To me he asked "I guess I probably shouldn't have leaned over huh?" Yeah, buddy. <slap!>
2. Here's another one. A young woman wearing about one to two rings, per all four fingers on both of her hands...decides to open up a packet of knives, placed in hard plastic casing, using, guess what - another knife. Instead of slicing away from her hand which is holding the knives (or using a pair of scissors), she instead cuts towards her hand. She manages to succeed in deep slashing all four fingers of her off hand, just belong her finger rings and needs immediate medical attention. With all four fingers swelling up and losing color, she asks, "Do you think that they will have to cut my rings to treat my fingers?"
Yes, hun, they probably will. <slap!>
3. Even better, a guy is in his souped up SUV, with cheap bumper grills front and back - is blasting music while parked in a circular driveway. After impressing his female friend and buddies with his sound system, he now wants to speed off in a blur of smoke, except for one thing, he has another car parked in front of him. Hot Shot doesn't realize that he doesn't have enough clearance to pull out of the sidewalk without backing up first and slams into the car parked in front of him on an angle. The car in front of him suffers very minor damage. However, his car suffers a sideways bent front grill. This cheap grill is bent so bad, that he can't drive straight or make left turns without causing severe friction of the grill on his front left tire. I advise him that he should probably park it and just have it towed to a local shop. He tells me that he is confident that he can get it home. His last words to me before he aimed his travel towards the parkway was: "Do you think I can drive this home?"
Let's see...you can't drive left or straight without causing friction on your front tire...and you're driving 25 minutes to get back home? <slap!> Yep. He didn't make it more than a quarter mile before his car started smoking. <double slap!>
4. Customer Service phone calls. Ohhh yeah. The good ones are really, really nice. Sometimes they are just too too nice! They are always apologetic actually manage to find a way to help you with your problem. For me it's usually a billing issue or error that I catch and they act shocked and disbelieving. Meanwhile, it's happened in the past and I've caught it before and I'll catch it again, because I check. So after resolving this sometimes repeated issue, they always have to ask at the end "So Sir, have I resolved all of your problems for today?"
Here's what I want to say to them, "Nope, I still have heat, electric, car payment bills as well as mortgage to get to. Any chance you can help me there too? Now please hang up before I add flatulence and indigestion to that list." Anyway, you get the picture. They didn't need to add the extra inquiry for assistance. I was good at "we've reimbursed you, Sir".
What? You think I was being too mean there? <slap!> Okay. Maybe you're right.
1. I know of a personal story where a guy who stood about 6'3 stands on the second floor of a two story apartment and leans over the railing to act goofy towards a girl he likes who is walking up from the first floor towards him on the second floor. The fool forgets that he suffers from extreme vertigo. Upon his leaning over the railing to goof off at the girl, he immediately loses his balance and over the railing he goes...on top of the girl! Yep, he made an impression on that girl alright. Every time she sees that Frankenstein scar on the side of her forehead, she will definitely think of him. To me he asked "I guess I probably shouldn't have leaned over huh?" Yeah, buddy. <slap!>
2. Here's another one. A young woman wearing about one to two rings, per all four fingers on both of her hands...decides to open up a packet of knives, placed in hard plastic casing, using, guess what - another knife. Instead of slicing away from her hand which is holding the knives (or using a pair of scissors), she instead cuts towards her hand. She manages to succeed in deep slashing all four fingers of her off hand, just belong her finger rings and needs immediate medical attention. With all four fingers swelling up and losing color, she asks, "Do you think that they will have to cut my rings to treat my fingers?"
Yes, hun, they probably will. <slap!>
3. Even better, a guy is in his souped up SUV, with cheap bumper grills front and back - is blasting music while parked in a circular driveway. After impressing his female friend and buddies with his sound system, he now wants to speed off in a blur of smoke, except for one thing, he has another car parked in front of him. Hot Shot doesn't realize that he doesn't have enough clearance to pull out of the sidewalk without backing up first and slams into the car parked in front of him on an angle. The car in front of him suffers very minor damage. However, his car suffers a sideways bent front grill. This cheap grill is bent so bad, that he can't drive straight or make left turns without causing severe friction of the grill on his front left tire. I advise him that he should probably park it and just have it towed to a local shop. He tells me that he is confident that he can get it home. His last words to me before he aimed his travel towards the parkway was: "Do you think I can drive this home?"
Let's see...you can't drive left or straight without causing friction on your front tire...and you're driving 25 minutes to get back home? <slap!> Yep. He didn't make it more than a quarter mile before his car started smoking. <double slap!>
4. Customer Service phone calls. Ohhh yeah. The good ones are really, really nice. Sometimes they are just too too nice! They are always apologetic actually manage to find a way to help you with your problem. For me it's usually a billing issue or error that I catch and they act shocked and disbelieving. Meanwhile, it's happened in the past and I've caught it before and I'll catch it again, because I check. So after resolving this sometimes repeated issue, they always have to ask at the end "So Sir, have I resolved all of your problems for today?"
Here's what I want to say to them, "Nope, I still have heat, electric, car payment bills as well as mortgage to get to. Any chance you can help me there too? Now please hang up before I add flatulence and indigestion to that list." Anyway, you get the picture. They didn't need to add the extra inquiry for assistance. I was good at "we've reimbursed you, Sir".
What? You think I was being too mean there? <slap!> Okay. Maybe you're right.
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