"Fleecy locks and black complextion
Cannot forfeit Nature's claim,
Skins may differ, but affection
dwells in black and white the same...
Deem our nation brutes no longer,
Till some reason ye shall find,
Worthier of regard and stronger
Than the color of our kind."
William Cowper
"The Lesson" by John S LES
Sleep normally brings us to a peaceful and restful state. But that was no longer the case for Billy Ray. Every night that he laid down in Michael Rays body, he could not rest living in this painful dual consciousness. One summer night he tried to wake himself up and be back in his own body, but nothing happened. Every time he woke up from his sweat drenched sleep, there he was, still a 16 year old, black teenager, growing up in a tough life in Queens, New York. His family and friends were mostly black and Hispanic. His best friend was a white teen, Dylan O'Connor. No matter how hard Billy Ray tried to resist this experience, all he could do was sit there inside this body and experience Michael Ray's life.
As Billy Ray drifted back into a sleep, he tried to remember his own life, his original life, before he received this punishment. He already knew how Michael Ray's life was going to end...at his own hands...yet he was trying to force himself to remember his own life. Growing up one of four boys and a single girl to two poor parents in Prosperous, Texas. His father went from a farmer, to an oil rigger and then later before he died he was a car mechanic. The family struggled year to year. The best times were when his father worked at the oil rig 25 miles away, but he would be gone for weeks at a time. When the company had tough times, they would hire illegal Hispanic day laborers to work the most dangerous jobs and cut back the hours of the regular workers.
His father never liked any black person that he met He preached to his children that they were a lesser human being on this earth. He didn't see any need for black people other than doing menial work and always taking advantage of the hard work of good white citizens. As for the black residents of Prosperous who were educated and had decent office jobs, Billy Ray's father felt that those particular black people had stolen a good job from a more deserving white resident.
But all that changed when Billy's mother, sick of listening to their father's prejudice and hate, demanded a divorce. Billy's two older brothers were both in their early 20's and mostly on their own as it was, simply moved out. Only he, his sister and youngest brother, Thomas remained. They chose to live with their father. Their mother and her new boyfriend left Prosperous and headed to Louisiana. Billy Ray never went to visit her. Only his sister and one of his older brothers ever visited her.
When his youngest brother Tommy turned 20, he moved to Houston, Texas and married a black woman . Billy Ray never spoke to him again after that. Just wasn't any need to. Tommy had gone against everything their father stood for when he did that. He might as well have moved to the moon as far as all the other siblings and their father were concerned. He and his wife gave birth to fraternal twins boy and girl. Not one of Tommy's siblings ever even visited or acknowledge their now 8 year old niece and nephew.
Billy reflected on that. He had an eight year old, niece and nephew, that he didn't even as much know their names. Nor did his own three kids know their cousins. He realized how he had also failed to visit his own mother after all these years. All he could feel was the pain of guilt cutting through his heart. Those kids are just babies and his mother never stopped loving him. Both he himself, as well as his niece and nephew all babies in this world struggling to survive in this world with their mother and father. Just like he was doing with his own kids and wife.
This was the first moment Billy Ray realized the additional pain he felt from keeping himself from seeing his baby brother and own mother. A pain that added to the fuel of his anger and hatred at others. All because...of nothing. Billy Ray's father had successfully passed his insecurities and hatred onto most of his own children. Tommy's decision to marry a black woman, had caused no harm to Billy Ray or anyone in the family. It was Billy's own decision to not speak to his brother which had hurt himself. And here he was in Michael Ray's body...worlds away from Texas and his family.
The next day Billy awoke and there he was as Michael Ray graduating high school, with no exact idea on what to do next. That was until he heard his friend Dylan enlisting in the military, trying to become a US Ranger. Michael Ray felt he was every bit cut out to join the military as was his best friend Dylan, and so the two of them went in together. They both succeeded in becoming US Army Rangers. Ironically, while they were Army Ranger training down in Fort Benning, Georgia, they were known as the two City Boys. Michael's sister, Deborah went to Queens College, then NYU for her MBA and got a job in One World Trade. She had one daughter with her fiance, a man she was long engaged to, but they broke off the relationship.
Michael Ray met his wife, the former Monica Allen, down in Georgia. Dylan met his wife, the former Christie Mitchell, while vacationing in Miami, Florida. Michael Ray moved to Virginia, so that they could easily maintain their careers and still be available for Special Operations missions. Over time, whether it was a training mission in rural areas of the United States, or other parts of the world, Michael begins to see the multitudes of hard people whose lives got caught up in the fallout of the political war for power, money and resources.
These experiences began to develop Michael and Dylan's natural affinity towards ordinary people, who lived in rural or remote places struggling to survive. For Michael, they reminded him of his family roots back in Arlington, TX. For Dylan, people like that reminded him of his rural, working community in upstate, New York. Although both men were always ready to perform their military missions, both of them often spoke of doing something more for those ordinary people, once their military careers were over. In the late 1990's due to terrorist threats, their training missions went into full swing, as did their careers.
Then September 11, 2001 came. Michael's sister, Deborah was in One World Trade Center when the planes hit. For the next several years, Michael and Dylan's unit were given several tours in Afghanistan. Through Michael's eyes, Billy Ray relived the pain and anguish of losing his sister. Of adopting her son, to live with his own three children down in Virginia, yet being away on dangerous missions and long enough in harm's way to open the possibility of losing yet another parent. Even Dylan pushed him to get out on their last deployment together. Three years of seeing mostly impoverished people, twisted and swayed to hate. Ruled by fear, deception, money, power and religious ideologies. How many more men had to be killed before Michael's heart had reached some measure of fulfillment for vengeance disguised as patriotic duty to protect?
In 2004, at age 29 Michael was brought back to the states to help with Ranger training down in Georgia. However, Dylan hopped back on another deployment in early 2005. He told Michael and his wife, Christie that this would be his fourth and last deployment. His words proved to be prophetic as his unit had engaged a heavy firefight after an ambush of a Marine platoon. Dylan was struck in the neck by a bullet ricochet and killed instantly. His wife, Christie would eventually be diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer just two years later. By the end of 2007, and as stated in both their wills, Michael adopted the O'Connor's daughter bringing his family total now to 5. In 2009, Michael was allowed an early discharge from the military services as his family needs began to expand and money was getting very tight.
But, by that time the economic woes from 2007 and 2008 had already hit the nation. Billy Ray could see that rather than quiting and blaming his country, Michael Ray was standing up and fighting to save his family from suffering. He was fighting with the same spirited vigor that he had shown when he was years younger on the streets of Queens, N.Y., the basketball courts and the battlefields in Afghanistan. Rather than sitting back and being a victim, Michael Ray went on a quest to take on a war...a war in which the everyday, working Americans could win, rather than getting squashed by the pressures of a nation wide economic downturn. Through all of his energy and enthusiasm to help people find ways to make work, it wasn't until he met another war veteran, David Shields in 2009. Shields was himself a retired Marine, crippled from the waist down, who owned a small, start up business. The two men would combine their skills and help Michael take his self-empowering ideas to entrepreneurial level that could help thousands, if not millions across the nation.
Billy Ray's living nightmare was rocketing closer, and closer to the end. His heart and head were heavy with pain. He wanted it all to stop. He wanted to go back and change the way he thought about people and about things in life. But he couldn't stop it. This whole experience was like a runaway train for him...and there was no getting off...
Cannot forfeit Nature's claim,
Skins may differ, but affection
dwells in black and white the same...
Deem our nation brutes no longer,
Till some reason ye shall find,
Worthier of regard and stronger
Than the color of our kind."
William Cowper
"The Lesson" by John S LES
©
Sleep normally brings us to a peaceful and restful state. But that was no longer the case for Billy Ray. Every night that he laid down in Michael Rays body, he could not rest living in this painful dual consciousness. One summer night he tried to wake himself up and be back in his own body, but nothing happened. Every time he woke up from his sweat drenched sleep, there he was, still a 16 year old, black teenager, growing up in a tough life in Queens, New York. His family and friends were mostly black and Hispanic. His best friend was a white teen, Dylan O'Connor. No matter how hard Billy Ray tried to resist this experience, all he could do was sit there inside this body and experience Michael Ray's life.
As Billy Ray drifted back into a sleep, he tried to remember his own life, his original life, before he received this punishment. He already knew how Michael Ray's life was going to end...at his own hands...yet he was trying to force himself to remember his own life. Growing up one of four boys and a single girl to two poor parents in Prosperous, Texas. His father went from a farmer, to an oil rigger and then later before he died he was a car mechanic. The family struggled year to year. The best times were when his father worked at the oil rig 25 miles away, but he would be gone for weeks at a time. When the company had tough times, they would hire illegal Hispanic day laborers to work the most dangerous jobs and cut back the hours of the regular workers.
His father never liked any black person that he met He preached to his children that they were a lesser human being on this earth. He didn't see any need for black people other than doing menial work and always taking advantage of the hard work of good white citizens. As for the black residents of Prosperous who were educated and had decent office jobs, Billy Ray's father felt that those particular black people had stolen a good job from a more deserving white resident.
But all that changed when Billy's mother, sick of listening to their father's prejudice and hate, demanded a divorce. Billy's two older brothers were both in their early 20's and mostly on their own as it was, simply moved out. Only he, his sister and youngest brother, Thomas remained. They chose to live with their father. Their mother and her new boyfriend left Prosperous and headed to Louisiana. Billy Ray never went to visit her. Only his sister and one of his older brothers ever visited her.
When his youngest brother Tommy turned 20, he moved to Houston, Texas and married a black woman . Billy Ray never spoke to him again after that. Just wasn't any need to. Tommy had gone against everything their father stood for when he did that. He might as well have moved to the moon as far as all the other siblings and their father were concerned. He and his wife gave birth to fraternal twins boy and girl. Not one of Tommy's siblings ever even visited or acknowledge their now 8 year old niece and nephew.
Billy reflected on that. He had an eight year old, niece and nephew, that he didn't even as much know their names. Nor did his own three kids know their cousins. He realized how he had also failed to visit his own mother after all these years. All he could feel was the pain of guilt cutting through his heart. Those kids are just babies and his mother never stopped loving him. Both he himself, as well as his niece and nephew all babies in this world struggling to survive in this world with their mother and father. Just like he was doing with his own kids and wife.
This was the first moment Billy Ray realized the additional pain he felt from keeping himself from seeing his baby brother and own mother. A pain that added to the fuel of his anger and hatred at others. All because...of nothing. Billy Ray's father had successfully passed his insecurities and hatred onto most of his own children. Tommy's decision to marry a black woman, had caused no harm to Billy Ray or anyone in the family. It was Billy's own decision to not speak to his brother which had hurt himself. And here he was in Michael Ray's body...worlds away from Texas and his family.
The next day Billy awoke and there he was as Michael Ray graduating high school, with no exact idea on what to do next. That was until he heard his friend Dylan enlisting in the military, trying to become a US Ranger. Michael Ray felt he was every bit cut out to join the military as was his best friend Dylan, and so the two of them went in together. They both succeeded in becoming US Army Rangers. Ironically, while they were Army Ranger training down in Fort Benning, Georgia, they were known as the two City Boys. Michael's sister, Deborah went to Queens College, then NYU for her MBA and got a job in One World Trade. She had one daughter with her fiance, a man she was long engaged to, but they broke off the relationship.
Michael Ray met his wife, the former Monica Allen, down in Georgia. Dylan met his wife, the former Christie Mitchell, while vacationing in Miami, Florida. Michael Ray moved to Virginia, so that they could easily maintain their careers and still be available for Special Operations missions. Over time, whether it was a training mission in rural areas of the United States, or other parts of the world, Michael begins to see the multitudes of hard people whose lives got caught up in the fallout of the political war for power, money and resources.
These experiences began to develop Michael and Dylan's natural affinity towards ordinary people, who lived in rural or remote places struggling to survive. For Michael, they reminded him of his family roots back in Arlington, TX. For Dylan, people like that reminded him of his rural, working community in upstate, New York. Although both men were always ready to perform their military missions, both of them often spoke of doing something more for those ordinary people, once their military careers were over. In the late 1990's due to terrorist threats, their training missions went into full swing, as did their careers.
Then September 11, 2001 came. Michael's sister, Deborah was in One World Trade Center when the planes hit. For the next several years, Michael and Dylan's unit were given several tours in Afghanistan. Through Michael's eyes, Billy Ray relived the pain and anguish of losing his sister. Of adopting her son, to live with his own three children down in Virginia, yet being away on dangerous missions and long enough in harm's way to open the possibility of losing yet another parent. Even Dylan pushed him to get out on their last deployment together. Three years of seeing mostly impoverished people, twisted and swayed to hate. Ruled by fear, deception, money, power and religious ideologies. How many more men had to be killed before Michael's heart had reached some measure of fulfillment for vengeance disguised as patriotic duty to protect?
In 2004, at age 29 Michael was brought back to the states to help with Ranger training down in Georgia. However, Dylan hopped back on another deployment in early 2005. He told Michael and his wife, Christie that this would be his fourth and last deployment. His words proved to be prophetic as his unit had engaged a heavy firefight after an ambush of a Marine platoon. Dylan was struck in the neck by a bullet ricochet and killed instantly. His wife, Christie would eventually be diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer just two years later. By the end of 2007, and as stated in both their wills, Michael adopted the O'Connor's daughter bringing his family total now to 5. In 2009, Michael was allowed an early discharge from the military services as his family needs began to expand and money was getting very tight.
But, by that time the economic woes from 2007 and 2008 had already hit the nation. Billy Ray could see that rather than quiting and blaming his country, Michael Ray was standing up and fighting to save his family from suffering. He was fighting with the same spirited vigor that he had shown when he was years younger on the streets of Queens, N.Y., the basketball courts and the battlefields in Afghanistan. Rather than sitting back and being a victim, Michael Ray went on a quest to take on a war...a war in which the everyday, working Americans could win, rather than getting squashed by the pressures of a nation wide economic downturn. Through all of his energy and enthusiasm to help people find ways to make work, it wasn't until he met another war veteran, David Shields in 2009. Shields was himself a retired Marine, crippled from the waist down, who owned a small, start up business. The two men would combine their skills and help Michael take his self-empowering ideas to entrepreneurial level that could help thousands, if not millions across the nation.
Billy Ray's living nightmare was rocketing closer, and closer to the end. His heart and head were heavy with pain. He wanted it all to stop. He wanted to go back and change the way he thought about people and about things in life. But he couldn't stop it. This whole experience was like a runaway train for him...and there was no getting off...
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