Ladies...Your Best Parts Aren't Behind You...

Ladies...your best parts aren't behind you...

Yesterday, I went to a nearby Duncan Donuts with a female coworker.  Not an unusual thing, however this time she wanted to go to share some good news in her personal life.  When we went into the store the relatively new set of guys who worked there seemed to great her like she was a family member or friend stopping by.  They even began to joke and tease her...and when she wasn't looking...they each took a quick look at her posterior end.  She was wearing a nice, knee length dress, that was very professional looking - nothing salicious.

I didn't remember seeing such a warm and saliva dripping welcome before with this new crew or the old crew.  She made her order and we walked back to our office.  She is a pretty woman and is quite married and has two children.  As we were walking back she proceeds to tell me that one of the men actually asked her to marry him so that he could become a citizen of the United States.  She of course told him - NEGATIVE.  But it seemed as if his "playboy" coworkers now figuered that they had better than a snowball's chance in Hell to get her to marry one of them if they continued to behave like beat up Don Juan's in their company uniform.

In her own words, "In another life, if I were going to marry a guy just so that he could become a citizen...he's gotta do better than making donuts and wearing a shirt with frosting stains?  I mean what would be in it for me, free donuts?"

I laughed out loud at her very logical commentary.  But her being a pretty lady, and acting quite aloof she sure did get some faster than normal service.  Ohh...the power of women...

But before I leave this topic, I just want to introduce this thought to all women who might be reading this particular blog.  Ladies...news flash...if you are ever wondering if men are looking at your behinds as you walk by - the answer is a resounding YES.  Not only are they watching your behind as you pass, they are also giving it a score.  In just mere tenths of seconds those men you pass are holding up their mental score cards to other men in the room, sidewalk and even the same zip code as to whether or not your behind scores a 5 or better on a scale from 1 to 10.  So here in the United States and other Western cultures, ladies if you're going to wear shorts, dresses, pants or even a plastic bag around your behind - just make sure you walk with some grace and a good shake.  Even if you don't think you have a nice behind - maybe you think it's too big, too small, too flat - or even concaved - just put some socks in your back pocket and shake your hips side to side as if you're listening to some latin music when you walk.  A good strut will turn a 3 to a 6 and a 7 to a 10 in seconds!

Now if you can't live with this thought of what I'm telling you.  If you think what I'm saying is disgusting, piggish male talk - please don't blame me.  Blame it on biology.  Blame it on Evolution or Mother Nature.  Not me.  I'm just trying to empower you with some basic knowledge.  Those of you women who have at least two or more older brothers know exactly what I'm talking about because you've heard the guy talk before.  It always start something like this..."Hey!  Did you see that one?"

As for the biology part of it...here it goes.  We all know that all species on earth are built for reproduction.  You can take a basic college Anthropology class and find out some of the same things I'm going to mention.  You see human biology is radically different from other primates.  That being said, we do not need to procreate in the tradional primate fashion of stepping in from the rear.  Moreover, since human females vaginas are not rear facing and not as easily accessible (or showoffable) as primates are.  Everything is pushed forward, towards the front and women walk upright on their feet, thus things are "hidden".

Human women have the biggest buttocks of all primates.  By biology men know where those ovaries are, and the access to those ovaries.  A woman's hip sway, while walking, is litterally like a hypnotist taking a swinging object and saying "Look at me, you're getting sleepy...sleepy..."  The rounder the rump, the more adventurous the access.  The more sway in the hips while walking..well...it's over!  Female breasts are additional substitutes for attracking a man's attention.  The bigger and rounder ones imitate female buttocks.  The more they sway, jiggle or bounce - the more attention they are going to get from men!

And guess what ladies...?  For those of you that wear low cut pant tops and midrift shirts...guess what internal organs you're showing off to men in your pelvic region?  Your ovaries (and birth canal).  Yep...it's as simple as that. What do you think folks?   I'd like to hear your opinion?  :-)


JS  LES