Humor
On a lighter side of things, I'm starting a new humor segment called:
"Ask Tabitha"
Tabitha comes from a family of gypsies who originated from Egypt, then migrated to Europe and now the United States. Tabitha has kept the family tradition of soothsaying, fortune-telling and astral projection alive. She has decided to loan her talents to this blog for free...provided that we click on some of the blog ads every now and then. For today's inaugural session for truth and knowledge and insight to higher awareness here are the three questions I proposed to her...and her responses.
She is sitting before me dressed in a beautiful, hip hugging black dress and has a beautiful mint colored scarf draped around her head, revealing only her beautiful hazel eyes.
Me "Oh Tabitha the Great. I have before you three questions to share with my friends around the world. As difficult as they may be, I know with complete confidence, that you and only you will have all the answers. Here's my first question: ' What does Fee, four, five, fum' mean?"
Tabitha <raising an eyebrow and leaning back in her chair> "'Fee, four, five, fum?'"
Me "Yes, that's what I asked."
Tabitha, "Fee, four, five, fum. That was the answer Mike Tyson gave when he was asked how many ears he chewed off in his career, plus a thumb. Next question."
Me "My next question, your Highness, is 'What do a new born baby, a millionaire jet setter and fantasy football fans have in common?'"
Tabitha, "A new born baby? A millionaire? And fantasy football fans?"
Me, "Yes oh Great One."
Tabitha, "Nothing. Babies are a new life. Jet setters have a life, and fantasy football fans really need to get a life. Next."
Me, "Ms. Tabitha...I have my absolute last question for the week. Are you ready for it?"
Tabitha, "Well of course I am. I've already travelled to next week and your next vacation spot, John. Next week looks great, but your vacation spot at a cheap motel really sucks. Need me to loan you a few bucks to at least upgrade to a Motel 8? That way you won't have to share a bed with complete strangers."
Me <looking around and embarrassed> "Okay, okay. We can talk about the loan after I finish writing. But in the meantime, are you ready for my very last question?
Tabitha, "Yes, I am. Let's do it."
Me, "What does a scorpion, a rattle snake...and a scorned woman have in common?"
Tabitha, "'A scorpion, a rattle snake...and a scorned woman?' Oh that's easy. The first two deadly animals you can outrun and the last one you absolutely cannot."
And that is all from my new "Tabitha" segment. Tune in next week for Tabitha's all knowing knowledge. Feel free to send any questions you have for Tabitha.
On a lighter side of things, I'm starting a new humor segment called:
"Ask Tabitha"
Tabitha comes from a family of gypsies who originated from Egypt, then migrated to Europe and now the United States. Tabitha has kept the family tradition of soothsaying, fortune-telling and astral projection alive. She has decided to loan her talents to this blog for free...provided that we click on some of the blog ads every now and then. For today's inaugural session for truth and knowledge and insight to higher awareness here are the three questions I proposed to her...and her responses.
She is sitting before me dressed in a beautiful, hip hugging black dress and has a beautiful mint colored scarf draped around her head, revealing only her beautiful hazel eyes.
Me "Oh Tabitha the Great. I have before you three questions to share with my friends around the world. As difficult as they may be, I know with complete confidence, that you and only you will have all the answers. Here's my first question: ' What does Fee, four, five, fum' mean?"
Tabitha <raising an eyebrow and leaning back in her chair> "'Fee, four, five, fum?'"
Me "Yes, that's what I asked."
Tabitha, "Fee, four, five, fum. That was the answer Mike Tyson gave when he was asked how many ears he chewed off in his career, plus a thumb. Next question."
Me "My next question, your Highness, is 'What do a new born baby, a millionaire jet setter and fantasy football fans have in common?'"
Tabitha, "A new born baby? A millionaire? And fantasy football fans?"
Me, "Yes oh Great One."
Tabitha, "Nothing. Babies are a new life. Jet setters have a life, and fantasy football fans really need to get a life. Next."
Me, "Ms. Tabitha...I have my absolute last question for the week. Are you ready for it?"
Tabitha, "Well of course I am. I've already travelled to next week and your next vacation spot, John. Next week looks great, but your vacation spot at a cheap motel really sucks. Need me to loan you a few bucks to at least upgrade to a Motel 8? That way you won't have to share a bed with complete strangers."
Me <looking around and embarrassed> "Okay, okay. We can talk about the loan after I finish writing. But in the meantime, are you ready for my very last question?
Tabitha, "Yes, I am. Let's do it."
Me, "What does a scorpion, a rattle snake...and a scorned woman have in common?"
Tabitha, "'A scorpion, a rattle snake...and a scorned woman?' Oh that's easy. The first two deadly animals you can outrun and the last one you absolutely cannot."
And that is all from my new "Tabitha" segment. Tune in next week for Tabitha's all knowing knowledge. Feel free to send any questions you have for Tabitha.
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